We all knew it, Bobby that quintessential man of the people, has admitted to a love of kebabs, particularly the Lebanese variety.
Not Lebanese Enough
Better known for shouting at the sky and wearing big hats, Bobby as he’s known to his friends, was inconsolable after a journalist implied he might be “a bit watered-down on the Lebo front”.
Moments later, the Member for Mad Max Country announced his plan to “reclaim his birthright” via his newest business venture. This is a man, we’ve now learned, who was built on garlic sauce!
Kebaby Kattery™ — Kebabs So Authentic You’ll Never Again Question His Ancestry
Seconds after finishing his latest tirade, Bobby announced his destiny, becoming the Colonel Sanders of Lebanese kebabs.
His new franchise, Kebaby Kattery, promises “authentic Middle Eastern cuisine filtered through the culinary standards of Mount Isa servo pies.”
Your correspondent sampled a test kebab. It tasted like a Woolies chook rolled in sunscreen and shame.
The launch event was held in a repurposed shed, complete with a signed framed picture of Fair Dinkum Jesus.
A Man for the Ages
Wee Bobby Junior, the long suffering son, was quick to paint the old fella in an endearing light, “once you get to know Pa, he’s just a big pussy Kat. That journo had no right saying he wasn’t Lebo enough. You ever seen a man lose his shit over nothing that fast? That’s heritage, mate. That’s generational spice.”
Mrs Bobby, who wore the expression of a woman whose soul left her body sometime in 1990s, politely dragged Wee Bobby away for his afternoon nappy change.
Going on Pilgrimage
Having accepted his destiny, Bobby announced his Kultural (sic) awakening. “I’m heading to the old country” he told reporters, though sources close to him say he’s been trying to identify Lebanon on the globe for several years.
“I’m not getting any younger,” Bobby said, adjusting his hat. “I want the real thing, a pure Lebo kebab, straight from the source. Might even give Islam a whirl, y’know? A bit devo I missed the Haj this year. Chuck it on the bucket list.”
When pressed on potential travel risks, Bobby waved it off “Mate, it’s basically my electorate but with better coastline. If Cloncurry had sea it would practically be Beirut”.
No follow up questions were allowed as Bobby had already wandered off in search of “the kebab bloke with the proper chilli sauce”, not this cheap crap!
So dear readers, how Lebanese is too Lebanese for Bob?
