Fresh from a recent ruptured arse, and having no fence left to sit on, Barnaby Joyce has finally fallen for Pauline Hanson. Not even full removal of their burqas dampened the passion, Pauline being overheard whispering to him “my passion puppet”.
Medical opinion reckons it’s less romance and more a shared allergy to facts.
Competition in the ranks
One Nation MPs have split over the relationship. Largely because they can’t count high enough to work out how many people are involved.
Malcolm Roberts, now lovesick and furious, has taken the news badly. Witnesses last saw him staggering toward what he insists is the edge of the planet.
Reportedly he’s trying to determine whether Pauline’s new affection signals gravity failing again, or a suspicious concentration of contrails. An intercepted text read, “Guys, I’m stuck on the horizon, please send snacks”.
A fresh take on policies
Barnaby, as always, has rushed to get on with the job of ensuring something new gets promptly stuffed up. He is reportedly angling for dual portfolios of Immigration, a subject he finds endlessly fascinating, particularly when it involves dual citizenship, and Climate Change Denial. He’s confident the roles will require no background checks, vetting, or even basic self-awareness.
Rinehart HQ update
“Barnaby and Pauline falling in love is adorable”, Evil boss lord Gina Rinehart commented, “I just throw them titbits and these two imprint on me like baby ducks”.
Gina was clearly smitten, pencilling love hearts on her binder titled, “Expendable Humans”. She then rang a small bell, summoning some Nationals for pats and feeding.
Will Barnaby and Pauline be Australia’s next power couple, or will Barnaby rupture something else before the honeymoon?
